


Sunbeam

by Alate



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Norse Mythology, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: I'm so sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alate/pseuds/Alate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The apple was never meant for mortals, but it was the god's only choice.</p><p>Loki doesn't know which is worse… this or insanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fade

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lokesenna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokesenna/gifts).



> It's massive… and that's why it took so long. XD I don't want to give anything away~… but be sure to read the next chapter. <3  
> Love you, Jeepers! Happy birthday!

Loki thinks this is the most beautiful place on Midgard he's ever seen.

The god watches as Tom stands on the edge of the water, his white t-shirt fluttering wildly around his stomach. The mortal isn't facing him, his arms held out sideways and palms turned out as if welcoming the moon to an embrace. Silver rays outline him; he glows monochromatic in the light, except for those eyes. Blue, as always.

Loki comes up to stand beside him and looks out into the ocean, illuminated by the full moon.

Waves crash around their feet and it's so _cold_ , but the frost giant welcomes it, digging his toes into the sand.

Tom takes a deep breath of salty air and grins, palms now coming up to rest on the back of his head. He turns and beams at Loki, eyes crinkled and skin glowing. “I love this.” The breeze from the waves send his blond curls twisting around his face and ears; he snickers and pulls one away from his forehead, and Loki grins back, eyelids half-lowered with admiration.

His Thomas.

The actor shifts on his feet, closer, and briefly rests his head on Loki's shoulder.

It is 3:32 AM and they are waiting for the sunrise.

Tom holds his hand out and Loki takes it without thought, their fingers intertwining as the mortal leads them down the abandoned beach, sand coating the backs of his calves. The paler god literally glows in this lighting, water making his feet shimmer, and he happily notes that Tom is only a shade or two darker, legs marred with freckles and spots and scars. Loki had kissed each one once upon a time and given them each a name, though neither of them remember the names now.

Tom has gray cargo shorts on, rolled up above his knee. Loki is in a black t-shirt and similar shorts, though his are not rolled up; Tom had not been able to convince him to come into the water.

They reach their apparent destination; a patch of sand that looks no different from the patch they'd just left. Tom pulls the massive blanket he'd compacted into his shorts pocket out and spreads it with a flourish, after a bit of flailing as the wind picks it up and threatens to tear it away. He then flops onto it and pulls Loki down on top of him, beaming. Loki goes happily, noses bumping as he falls. Tom grins; Loki grins back before kissing him.

How this man had become such a center for him, a needed part, a requirement, he had no idea.

Loki kisses him fiercely, like he always did, and Tom purrs, lifting a hand to dig into his hair.

The god cups his cheek and kisses him again and again. Tom soon grows breathless, lashes fluttering, but he doesn't stop, kissing between panting breaths until finally Loki pulls away so he can breath. The blond smiles, open-mouthed and wry, and gives a soft laugh.

“Mmh… Loki… how old are you?”

Loki traces the number on Tom's chest and the actor peeks down, trying to puzzle it out.

“Four digits… wow. Um…” He tilts his head and watches as Loki rewrites the number. “2,031?”

Loki wets his lips and nods, casting soft eyes to his lover. “Mmhm. It is considered young, on Asgard… you would be like a child.”

Tom snorts and leans up, reaching to pull a hand through Loki's wind-mussed hair.

“Mmh… you're such a silver fox, Loki… honestly… or is the appropriate term "cougar"?"

Loki smirks and pushes him back into the blanket, climbing on top of him. Light paints his back silver and outlines him as an angel. “I am neither such animal… if anything, I am a _wolf_ …” He grins, flashing sharp teeth and glowing green eyes, and Tom laughs, hands resting on the raven's hips.

“Mmh. Definitely not going to argue with that…”

“You can be the fox.”

“Do foxes and wolves actually mate in the wild?”

“Doubtful.”

“Can foxes and wolves have cubs?”

Loki cocks his head. “Hmm. I do not know.”

Tom looks up at him, swallowing before wetting his lips. “Then I'm not a fox.”

The trickster god senses the underlying message and bends, placing a kiss under his ear with a grin. “Mmh… more obnoxious beagle puppy.”

Tom scoffs and pushes up, rolling them and wriggling playfully. “Hey! I'll dig a hole in your backyard for that.”

Loki laughs and looks up at him, eyes wicked. “That's my job, sweetheart.”

Tom bursts into laughter at the innuendo, falling into Loki's chest and shaking with giggles. Loki snickers with him, nose wrinkled.

The laughter fades, and he suddenly becomes sober and squeezes Tom's waist. “I don't want this night to end.”

Tom softens too, eyes fading a little. “Me neither.” He brushes Loki's cheek with his thumb and opens his mouth hesitantly. “Loki… I…”

“Do not. Do not even… _begin_ to suggest that.”

“You… deserve it… this is torture…”

“I do not want to. I'll never want to. Never bring it up again.”

Tom quiets, resting against Loki's chest. He strokes patterns into the raven's skin and then tilts his head to kiss. “I won't… I'm sorry. I love you.”

Loki relaxes. “I love you, too… more than anything, Thomas. More than life.”

Tom hums, continuing his kisses, up his chest and to his chin and to his mouth. He purrs and nips there, and Loki gives a half-hearted growl back.

Tom growls in return, and nips again, before biting. Loki growls louder now and Tom leaps up, shooting off down the beach.

Loki is immediately up and chasing after him, eyes bright with the game.

Tom is fast, but he is not that fast.

Loki leaps and tackles him as gently as he can. They go tumbling into the sand, rolling across and getting dirty and laughing like maniacs. Tom throws his head back into the sand and cackles, and Loki laughs with him, eyes closing as a spray of a wave roars over them. They both sputter and scramble away, laughter probably loud enough for anyone in a one-mile radius to hear.

Tom is just rising and brushing sand off of his pants when the first beam of sunlight peeks over the horizon.

Loki looks up at his lover with a kind of resigned horror.

The blond steps closer quickly and uses his man's body to block away the light as best he can, leaning up to kiss him again. Loki kisses him back, and as he does tears spill from his eyes, even after all these years.

Tom swallows hard and reaches up to touch his cheek, and then lets his hand slide down to touch Loki's heart. “Soon,” he whispers, eyes blue as the day sky that destroys him. “I'm here, Loki.”

The god lets out a sob. “No…” He clings to the man, shaking. “No… please don't go. Please. Please!”

Tom is crying now and he shakes his head, taking a shaky breath. “Meet me here in a year, Loki… I'll be waiting.”

“Please!” Loki is half yelling, half sobbing now. “Please, I can't take another year, I can't… Thomas! Don't—!”

The sunlight pours over the horizon and Tom's eyes glow blue, and he murmurs a soft “I love—”

And he's gone.

xXx

The apple of Iðunn was never meant to be given to a human.

His body did not stop dying.

Loki watches as the man he loves grows old, grows weary, grows gray. He watches as Thomas takes his hand and squeezes and says “Lo…” and then he dies.

Whether he was going to say “love” or “Loki” the god never knows.

xXx

 


	2. Epilogue

A year after Thomas' body dies the god is walking aimlessly down this beach, by happenstance, as the sun sets.

And then, in the distance, is Thomas.

Loki ignores it at first, because he has seen Thomas so many times now he has lost count, he has gone insane.

But then Thomas crashes right into him, knocks him to the ground, and says “ _Loki_!”

It is Thomas in his prime, at the same age he was when he'd been given the apple; 32. His soul lived on.

Every year, on the anniversary of his death, Thomas appears on this beach as soon as the sun goes down and the moon appears. Loki is given one night a year with Thomas, and then he disappears with the sun.

They spend the first few years making love on every opportunity. All night, they worship each other and kiss and murmur words of love and misery. Now they just try to pretend the end is never coming, pretend it is a normal day, but at the end Loki always gets desperate and Thomas always turns to ash in his fingers.

A thousand years after that Thomas' last mortal breath, Loki picks up the blanket and folds it, putting it into his back pocket. And he tries to ignore the fact that Thomas keeps appearing later and later. This night they had only an hour together.

He fears that he will never hear “I love you” again.

xXx

Loki sits on the beach all day.

He stays here all year, rarely sleeping, almost always under the umbrella he has set up. Time is meaningless. Thomas consumes him. Passerby speak to him and he ignores them. He is mute. He is dust and ash.

xXx

It is the night and Tom has not appeared.

Loki feels tears and despair in the back of his throat and a sob threatens him. The sun is only 15 minutes away.

He listens to the crashing of the waves. They are his anthem now. He thinks he could drift into the ocean and become a part of it, he knows it so well now. It is enough to bring a man to insanity. It is not enough to bring an insane god more insanity. He finds comfort in it.

 _Crash_. Retreat.

 _Crash_. Retreat.

Loki watches a sunbeam peek over the water and wretchedness takes him. He bends over his knees and sobs like a child, wracking his body and nails clawing into the sand. The umbrella shivers and shakes above him and he weeps.

xXx

Loki is taking down his umbrella.

People whisper around him, but he doesn't care. He wishes he could die. But he can't. Not here. And not without the help of others. Mortals couldn't do the job.

Loki turns and walks.

And bumps into someone.

He looks dully up, movements sluggish and weak.

He blinks at the image of Tom and sighs, murmuring an apology and stepping around.

But the fingers catch him. Loki's hatefulness rises up and he whips around with a roar. **“Fuck off!”**

The Tom lets go for a moment, startled, before grabbing him again. “I've never heard you use that word before, darling.”

Loki blinks and focuses his eyes, staring at the blond in front of him with a kind of dumb confusion.

Tom wets his lips and shifts nervously before clearing his throat. “Heh… do I still look… like a fox?”

Loki blinks. No. _No._ They never talked to him.

“Yeah, sorry. I don't… I don't know what to say… Loki?”

The god blinks, but something stirs in his chest. He swallows and stares at the blond, and then reaches up to touch his curls.

Tom leans into it and oh… oh, Norns. His eyes are blue. Blue like the sky.

A sob builds up in Loki's throat again and instantly Tom steps forward and wraps around him, embracing him and rocking them back and forth. “Shhh… shhh… Loki… Loki… they decided you'd taken enough. A thousand years… alone. And now… eternity not alone. They gave me this body… I won't die… I won't die…”

Loki blinks and doesn't respond, clinging tighter to the man and he doesn't care if it's a mirage, he'd rather be crazy than alone.

In the end, it turns out he is neither.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'm sorrrrrryyyy!
> 
> Inspired deeply by Owl City's "If My Heart Was a House" and Lifehouse's "Everything". I just. Flofpggxg. I hope you love it! And don't kill me!
> 
> To be clear; Iðunn's apple made Thomas' /soul/ live forever. His body was a different matter. Every year after he died Loki could be with him one night, and then he disappeared for another year. This went on for a thousand years before Tom was given an immortal body and now they can be together forever. <3 I was originally not going to add the happy ending, but Jee wrote such a sweet piece for me… I had to make this sweet, too.
> 
> I admittedly cried while writing this. First time I've ever done that. Heh. Let me know if you cried, too! :D


End file.
